Hamptons Legal – The Daily Detail

News, Service & Small Practice Management

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Ah, the hilarities…

Posted by pbsweeney on May 16, 2007

“When Ravalli County, Montana, fined itself $350 because one of its truck drivers committed a loading violation, it paid the local lawyers hired to prosecute AND defend the county, $1,175.00.”

from Lawyers & Other Reptiles by Jess M. Brallier


Posted in Business, Ethics, Humor, Law, Law Lit, Life | Leave a Comment »

Monkey Scribe

Posted by pbsweeney on March 27, 2007

We came across this fairly hilarious site of professionals acting unprofessionally, with funny gifts for the litigator in your life or you office. Monkey Scribe gave us a good laugh at the end of a long day, particularly when we listened to the infamous voice mail from whence they derived their name. It’s a killer.

Posted in blogging, Humor, Law, Practice Management, work | Leave a Comment »

Bong Hits for Jesus Case Oral Arguments

Posted by pbsweeney on March 14, 2007

We can’t wait for Monday, March 19, when Morse v. Frederick oral arguments will be heard in Supreme Court, starring pro bono attorney for the plaintiff Ken Starr. (Glad you’ve found something to occupy yourself with, Ken.) In case you haven’t heard of this case, the following digest from Cornell is required reading:

Morse v. Frederick (06-278)
Oral argument: March 19, 2007

“Joseph Frederick, an 18-year-old high school student,
displayed a banner with the message “Bong Hits 4 Jesus”
across the street from his school, during the Olympic torch
relay in Juneau, Alaska. School administrators had released
students to watch the Olympic torch, and Frederick’s banner
was in plain view of the students. Deborah Morse, the high
school principal, suspended him for violating the school’s
policy against displaying offensive materials promoting
illegal drug use. Frederick and Morse disagree on the
issues of whether Frederick had First Amendment protection
(because he was not on school premises) and whether, if he
did, Morse’s judgment to the contrary was reasonable and
should thereby entitle her to qualified immunity from

For the entire digest and discussion, click here…

Posted in Federal Spotlight, Humor, Law, Life, News | Leave a Comment »

Beware the Pettifogger

Posted by pbsweeney on January 24, 2007

Merriam Webster’s word of the day yesterday was pettifogger – how delightful! I can’t wait to use it in a sentence.

“pettifogger • \PET-ee-fog-ur\ • noun
1 : a lawyer whose methods are petty, underhanded, or disreputable 2 : one given to quibbling over trifles
Example Sentence:
Charles Dickens’s Uriah Heep was a complete pettifogger, an unctuous villain whose name became a byword for a falsely humble hypocrite.
Did you know?
In its earliest English uses, “pettifogger” was two separate words:…” more

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Best New Year Tip Contest – Win a $20.00 Starbucks Gift Certificate

Posted by pbsweeney on January 8, 2007

Some of us relish the turning of the year; the end of holiday and associated obligations and the end of “wait till after the holidays” laments and delays. Some of us dread returning to the problems that are still sitting around from last year.

So what’s the best way to start the year off? Take a running jump into the work and let everything sort itself out? What about a little review and revise? With the end of the old year fresh in our minds, why don’t we address some of our old or chronic complaints and see if this year might find us in a different place when the year runs out again.

Hamptons Legal says, what’s your best tip on starting off the work year fresh? What have you instituted in your practice that has solved a chronic problem or annoyance? Or what are you trying right now to make the year better? Win a $20.00 Starbucks gift certificate for sharing your tip with the rest of us! Post your tip in the comment section and Hamptons Legal Staff will select one winner to receive a $20.00 Starbucks gift certificate and three winners who will receive a $5.00 certificate for honorable mention. Be sure to provide an email address so we can get the prize to you! Contest closes January 18th, so enter now folks.

Posted in blogging, Business, Humor, Immigration, internet, Law, Life, News, Politics, Practice Management, Real Estate, Research, work | 3 Comments »

Florida Pornament Debate

Posted by pbsweeney on December 20, 2006

“The selling of sexually explicit tree ornaments called “Pornaments” at a chain of novelty stores across Florida has led a Miami lawyer to ask stores to stop sales, or else face legal action. The nine ornaments — spoofs portraying Mr. and Mrs. North Pole, reindeer and Frosty the Snowman in sexually risque positions — are selling for nine dollars and are on display on public shelves.” More…

Meanwhile, of course, the ornaments are almost sold out. I guess ecstatic snowpeople and reindeer strike some people as just silly and funny, rather than dangerous.

Posted in Business, Humor, Law, News | Leave a Comment »

“You want pot with that?”

Posted by pbsweeney on November 8, 2006

A little humor after election day:

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico (AP) — Two police officers sued Burger King Corp., claiming they were served hamburgers that had been sprinkled with marijuana.

The lawsuit says Mark Landavazo and Henry Gabaldon, officers for the Isleta Pueblo tribal police, were in uniform and riding in a marked patrol car when they bought meals at the drive-through lane October 8 of a Burger King restaurant in Los Lunas, New Mexico.

The officers ate about half of their burgers before discovering marijuana on the meat, the lawsuit said. They used a field test kit to confirm the substance was pot, then went to a hospital for medical evaluations.

“It gives a whole new meaning to the word ‘Whopper,”‘ the officers’ attorney, Sam Bregman, said Monday. Read more…

Posted in Humor, Law, Life, News | Leave a Comment »

Why You Need to Vote Anyway

Posted by pbsweeney on November 6, 2006

There are a lot of good reasons not to vote tomorrow if you feel as disenfranchised as so many Americans do right now. And chances are, you’re not reading this blog if you feel that way. Chances are you stopped watching TV because the ads are so depressing, or you’re freaking out that your vote won’t count anyway with these damn new machines, or you can’t stand to watch another talking head because they insist on screaming non-headlines at you about some poor sap who mispoke or exposed himself as a human being, and not a sanitized, pre-programmed, “product” for a political consumer you just aren’t. Chances are you took a break this weekend and went shopping, or walked along the ocean, or got all existential in a bar.

Now that you feel a little more normal, it’s time to hit those polls tomorrow because underneath it all, you’re a true citizen, even if you feel royally screwed. Underneath it all you do give a damn about the sacred quality of your vote, of pulling that leaver or pushing that button and making who you are and how you feel known throughout the land, even if no one is speaking for you right now. Believe it or not, your vote gets attention. It’s an indisputable fact, that vote, and its such a precious commodity that people and organizations spend millions and millions of dollars to get it. So keep that in mind, get thee to the polls tomorrow, and do your best.

Posted in Ethics, Humor, Law, Life, News, Politics | 1 Comment »

It Could Work, Right?

Posted by pbsweeney on October 20, 2006

Reuters has reported that Jens Lorek, a Dresden lawyer (that’s Germany kids), has a unique practice development idea and we just had to share. Mr. Lorek plans to help clients who have been abducted by aliens to receive compensation from the State, reasoning that just like other kidnapping victims, they are entitled to it. He hasn’t brought a case yet but he’s excited about the propects for his practice because UFO watchdogs maintain that the number of alien abductions increases substantially every year and there are literally thousands of potential plaintifs. “These people could also appeal for therapies and cures,” he was quoted as saying to the press. He was shocked to hear his interviewer suppress a giggle. “No one has laughed until now.”

We hear you Jens, our legal economy is in the twilight zone too.

Posted in Business, Humor, Law, News, Practice Management | Leave a Comment »

Bong Hits For Who?

Posted by pbsweeney on September 5, 2006

Kids, kids – whattaya gonna do?

Who among us is not rooting for the Supreme Court to take Ken Starr’s latest appeal, if only for the chance to hear the learned justices utter the words, “Bong Hits 4 Jesus.” Starr, the former Whitewater special counsel, petitioned the court last week to review the case, in which the Juneau, Alaska, School District suspended a high school senior who unfurled a banner bearing those words during an Olympic torch relay in 2002. The event was off school premises, leading the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to rule in March that the suspension violated the student’s free speech rights. (Frederick v. Morse.)

The school district is fuming and the NSBA (National School Board Assoc.) has filed an amicus brief, as apparently it’s just too outrageous that students’ constitutional rights are not being violated more consistently. Ken Starr feels so strongly about it that he agreed to help Pro Bono.

Hats off to legal blogger, Robert Loblaw, who has discovered a parallel case (which he dubbed Bong Hits for Bush), that came down last week from the 2nd Circuit, Guiles v. Marineau. The case, he reports, involved a student whose school forced him to put duct tape over the front of an anti-Bush t-shirt that portrayed the president as a “chicken-hawk” drug and alcohol abuser. The 2nd Circuit said this violated the 13-year-old’s First Amendment rights. Loblaw explains:

“The Court explains that the school may have a permissible interest in censoring pro-drug and pro-alcohol messages. However, the t-shirt in this case was actually anti-substance abuse, since it attacked George Bush for using drugs and alcohol. Instead, the shirt bore a political message that was protected by the First Amendment. Accordingly, the student should not have been disciplined or forced to duct tape his t-shirt.”

As there is no split between these two circuits on the First Amendment rights of students, the Supreme Court will likely not hear Ken Starr’s appeal, but it sure is fun thinking about it.

Posted in Federal Spotlight, Humor, Law, News, Politics | Leave a Comment »

Welcome to Hamptons Legal & The Daily Detail

Posted by pbsweeney on August 23, 2006

Being a relaxed, collegial place in the blogosphere for practicing attorneys and legal junkies in the beautiful Hamptons and surrounding areas in New York, otherwise known as the center of the universe. We’re looking to write about the business of law, local & national cases both interesting and useful, technology and software news for lawyers, service for process, the skinny on local courts and government agencies, cool research tools and databases, and a host of other subjects and resources, not to mention humor.

Before long we’ll be doing Featured Attorney articles, showcasing amazing and brilliant legal minds out here and we welcome nominations for same.

So stay tuned as we put all this together and enjoy the process! Ideas, suggestions, contributions, etc are embraced with enthusiasm. No smoking, spitting or cursing.

Posted in Ethics, Featured Attorney, Federal Spotlight, Humor, Law Lit, Local Cases of Interest, Practice Management, Service for Process, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »